Lately, more than normal, my mind has been non-stop. I attribute much of it to the phenomenal experience that I just had in Jackson Hole – new people, places, experiences, feelings – lots to think about.
I find myself (as many of my girlfriends do too apparently), day dreaming, fantasizing about guys that I meet. They possess one quality that I’m attracted to and suddenly I’m ten years in the future – or, more commmonly, imagining certain situations with that person – completely making up stories that are based in nothing – literally. Just air.
Tonight at dinner, my girlfriend and I were talking about this and she called me out big time. At first she said that she was surprised that I did this – I’m a “successful”, driven, influential, independent woman who can (and I know this) basically get anything I want. Sounds arrogant – noted – but it’s the truth (and so can you).
She was surprised to hear that much of my thoughts are consumed by these fantasies – of what if’s and what not.
By giving up this mental space to so many different people, I am leaving very little to put towards the really important things like my work, my close relationships and most importantly, my self.
I have realized this before, as I tend to get excited about people AND have a wild imagination – so the combo of the two is sometimes dangerous and consuming. One thing that I struggle with in these realizations is, “What else should I be thinking about?”
Men, people intrigue me – and I like attention. I know how to get attention, and once I have someones, I’m quick to move on. Ruthless? I don’t think so – just good at it and whenever that’s the case, that something becomes quite enjoyable.
It’s fun and easy to think about other people.
It’s not as much fun to do the same with yourself.
So my challenge to myself that I am starting now, is to be present. To “Get Outta my Dreams and into my Car”… Just like Billy Ocean said it. Unless it has to do with something I know I really want, I’m going to chill on the mental mayhem.
Instead of thinking about the dreamy wine maker, I will thank him for the experience, smile, and turn my thoughts towards the present moment.
Also, to remind myself that what I want wants me – in all aspects of life.
Trust, patience and playfulness.
Here are a couple questions to play around with to help shift focus back to yourself:
1. How can I make someone’s day today (preferably a friend and not the dude you’re trying not to think about)
2. What am I doing right now? (This simple question alone will reveal wonders..)
3. How can I express myself in this moment?
4. What am I feeling right now and how can I make my own day?
5. And finally….. Take a deep breath. This too shall pass.
This is a long post to say this simplicity. I did warn you that my brain is on overdrive though. 😉
Enjoy the song…